The Chain Saw

February 18, 2009

My friends Tony and Anne have just bought a place in Newboro.  The large waterfront lot needs some trimming, so Tony has bombarded my email slot for the last week with messages about chain saws.

He had never run one until I had him cut up some blocks with a mid-sized Husquvarna last weekend, but he was determined to get one after that.

A city girl, Anne had deep reservations about this purchase, but I’ll let Tony tell the rest of it:


So …

Anne is very apprehensive about me getting a chain saw of course, says they’re very dangerous and I don’t know how to use one.  I of course respond as you would expect.  “Don’t worry,  Miss Daisy.  They’re not dangerous if used properly.  I’ll be careful.”

So on the way home we stop at the St-Laurent Shopping Center.  I drop her off at the Bay so she can return something and I proceed on over to Sears to look at the chain saws.  So I’m picking these things up and swooshing them around like I know what I’m doing when suddenly I lose my grip and the saw chain hits my other hand and puts a small cut on the back and top of my thumb.   To my amazement I start bleeding like a stuck pig.

So I’ve just finished telling Anne not to worry about me and chain saws and I’ve injured myself  with a chain saw and I haven’t even left the store yet.  So I’m thinking, oh shit what do I do now?  She’ll be along any second and I’m dripping blood on the floor of Sears.  So I stick my injured hand in my pocket, forgetting I still have hold of the saw with the other hand.  Now the shelf is quite high so just as I’m about to take my bloodied hand out of my pocket to put the saw back on the shelf and wander off to look at the wrenches (anything to get away from the chain saws),  she arrives.

“Hi, Honey, how do you like this saw then, eh?”

“Nice color,” she replies.  “OK,  let’s get out of here!!!!!!”  Done like dinner.  I turn slightly as I take my hand out of my pocket while trying to shield her from seeing the blood, which is now smeared ALL over my hand. No luck.

“You’ve managed to cut yourself with a saw that you’ve never even turned on!  Good job!!!!”

A few minutes of sucking the blood from the cut does not stop the bleeding. Luckily she has a Band-Aid in her purse. How embarrassing!

Anyway, I left Sears with a bloodied hand and a new chainsaw, for which I have the utmost respect. I think I’ll try and use it first without starting it as I have an idea it’s even more dangerous when it’s started !!!!

There ….. I’ve fessed up !!!!


One Response to “The Chain Saw”

  1. Paul Peden Says:

    Think of the stories this adventure is going to supply the Walnut Diary.
    I’m sure you’ve heard the one about, and I’m reluctant to say it, the Newfie who bought a chain saw. Got it home and for the life of him could not get it to cut the 3 cords a day as promised. Took it back to the store and as the clerk started up the saw the fellow exclaimed “whats that noise”.
    Congratulations on your purchase guys, Anne keep a Sharp Eye on him!!!! Paul

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