Uh, Where Do I Put The Front Plate?

November 6, 2007

Everything went fine this afternoon as I completed final stages of the transaction for the Tacoma until I tried to attach the front plate. Uh, where does it go? There are no holes.

To back up a bit, the truck breezed through the etest and safety check at Canadian Tire this morning. This afternoon at the Ontario License Bureau the lady methodically processed my documents, and then charged P.S.T. on the amount on the bill of sale, not an arbitrary figure concocted by their computer, as in the manner of domestic sales. This sounded very good to me.

When she handed the plates across the counter I realized that the thing had actually worked. There was no Lucy van Pelt waiting to yank the football away from me at the last instant.

So I put the sticker on a plate and attached it to the back bumper. No problem so far. But the front was another matter. No place to put it. This called for an expert, so I headed to the shop of Dave Matthews, body shop owner and restoration expert. Dave looked at the situation and shared a laugh with his staff. Stickers apparently go on the front of a commercial vehicle, not the back. That his former English teacher would fail to read a simple set of instructions caused him a good deal of unseemly mirth.

Once he got his breath back, Dave ran his fingers over the front bumper and miraculously produced four little indentations in the plastic cover. Out came a drill, in went the holes, and on went the correct plate. I tried to pay for his time. His reply? “Go hit a deer!”

Here all these years I’d thought he hadn’t paid attention in class, and now he gives me a lesson in irony with a bit of nemesis for homework.

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